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The Value of Self Love

value of self love

In life, we all have a certain desire to feel valued and accepted for who we are. As a flower needs water and sunlight to grow, human beings need love and respect to become whole and balanced. This given is the foundation for self-love, which commences during our childhood when receiving unconditional love.

For most of us, feeling valuable and deserving from within is an intensive process. Intensified with expectations to behave in accordance with accepted social standards and family descent. This might teach us some valuable lessons about the unwritten laws of our society. If we compromise our worthiness in order to feel accepted, it can become harmful for our individuality. This may influence our life in profound ways, and as a result we may become judgmental towards ourselves or others.

Build Trust and Confidence

Acknowledging and replacing our childhood beliefs brings our reality into a new light and leads to authentic empowerment. We can do this by reconnecting with ourselves and recognising the beautiful qualities we have. Our birth-gift, which we exposed so naturally as a child, is still part of us and needs to be acknowledged and liberated.

We may try to hide behind created façades, like our smiles, responsibilities, excessive food intake or hard work. In reality, however, they are merely substitutes for a desire for unconditional self-love, which is an essential part to obtain self-confidence. Simultaneously, making us less vulnerable to the opinion of others.

We can neither grow nor heal ourselves unless we are willing to look within. Lovingly and compassionately, without judgement or fear. Realising we are perfect, just the way we are. Always go at your own pace, because we are all different. You were born to be you, with all its aspects, raw and beautiful!


Becoming honest with yourself requires making choices which are in alignment with your inner truth. Decisions that generate happiness, fulfilment and vitality, and are interconnected with your talents and purpose. It also means, connecting with those who respect and support you. On the contrary, stay away from situations and people that take away your energy and joy. Discernment is key!

We often feel guilty if we ‘let go’ of people and think we are not very loving human beings. But looking at it from a soul perspective, how compassionate are we towards ourselves if we stay connected to those who are in conflict with our highest purpose.

the value of self love

True Value

True value comes from you only! The opinion of others is merely a perception of their own mind and belief, and therefore not real. You define you, that is real. You decide who and what you are.

The way you present yourself to the world is a direct reflection of your self-worth. By loving yourself, you automatically receive the love and appreciation you desire from others. You expose yourself to a whole new way of living. A way of life that not only benefits you but also the people around you. You will attract people and situations that support your mission and enhance your life. At the same time, you invite others to do the same.

Your Gift

Loving yourself is the greatest gift you can offer anyone in your life. We are all born with a unique set of skills and talents, our so called birth-gift. We might not always be aware of it, but at some point we will receive an appeal from within. An inner voice, our intuition, which wants to be heard, acknowledged and lived. In order to answer that calling, we need to value and accept ourselves first, exactly as we are. A vital step which enables us to feel free and create our own adventure. A journey directed by the heart, liberated from expectations which have been put on us, either by the outside world or by ourselves.

Being loved is essential, but loving yourself is vital! 

Sometimes your heart flows with love and gratitude. At other times, you feel stuck in worries, pain, self-doubt or a sense of lacking. These powerful affirmations can be helpful, holding the truth which is not always visible to us.

10 Commandments for Self Love

inspired by Peter den Haring

  1. I AM WHO I AM

Creator of Practical Life Guide. A practical guide for living a meaningful life with joy and purpose.


  • Frances

    Powerful message here, dear Monique, and I thank you for the reminder to be 100% true to myself/oneself . . .

    God/Life Bless you, Beloved Sis. You’re a blessing to me, and I’m sure to us all . . . _/ ❤️ \_

    • Monique

      We can all use a reminder sometimes indeed, that is also how it works for me by writing about it! Thank You Frances dear for your love, support and appreciation!!
      Love and Blessings to you Beloved Sis! _(♡)_

  • Maria Susana Garcia

    I agree abolutely my dear friend Monique … This article you have written is interesting indeed … Always helping others .. Be blessed my angel friend

  • Karen Berdou

    ​Thank you Monique – I always love your blogs either starting me on something new (oil pulling and cider vinegar) which I believe are starting to prove really wonderful, or just general help and food for thought, deeper contemplation and always change.

    Thinking on your commandment number 6, the present moment (and living as mindful a life as possible) was to start to love myself for it is in these truly perfect and blissful moments that I found I ceased judgement of myself. I was completely open to what IS, literally the Love and Power all around me, knowing and truly ‘understanding’ the difference between the me who I have carefully constructed (my egoic nature) and the Me Who I really AM. Self judgement didn’t and doesn’t feature, just deep Love.

    I LOVE your 10 Commandments for Self Love. I love how I have spent time thinking and feeling them, have reflected on them during my day today. They are perfect and I now plan to print them, and have one next to my bed, and one here on my desk. Invaluable….and once again thank you Monique, my dear and beautiful friend.

    • Monique

      Karen dear,
      You fill my heart with joy, by expressing your heartwarming words and appreciation for my blogs, in such beautifully and sincere way! I love to share all that has helped and supported me in my life so far, and still does! Sharing adds to it.

      Your profound words about your experiences are very insightful! Actually you remind me about the significance of living in the presence moment, which solves a lot of our human discomfort in general, like self judgement…
      A great idea to print out the 10 commands, and keep reminding yourself of all the true values of life that incorporate value and acceptance of ourselves!! They have done that for me too… and still do!! ツ
      Thank You Beautiful Soul for your friendship and light! You are a true Blessing _/|\_ ♡

      • Karen Berdou

        Monique, I thank you.
        Blessings of Love Peace and Joy,

  • Gabriela

    Another wonderful “eye opener” form you , Monique ! …for even if we heard about self love before , the way you bring it back in focus for us is so wonderful and a much needed reminder ! I recognize myself as i’m reading your lines and i have been working on this for a while …it’s not easy because it’s so embedded in the way i was brought up and after living most of my life trying to get the affirmation of my worth through the eyes of others …the ones i was trying to please , so that they would like and accept me ! ….it’s only now , later in life that i drew the conclusions …and i’m doing my best to pay more attention to myself and worry less of the opinions of the rest ! …It’s still a work in progress , but at least now i have people like you that help me with constant guidance and support ! It is so , so valuable ….so thank you again for writing your wonderful blog , dear Monique !
    Love and Blessings ,

    • Monique

      Gabriela dear, I’m sure a lot of us recognise themselves in ‘the value of self love’, as most of us are work in progress, including myself! It is only by experience, and becoming older that I realised the importance of self love. We never completely live to our best potential until we are released from the burden of self judgement and that of others.
      It is something we’ve become aware of by evolving as human beings. I believe our generations in general, are not brought up in with the emphasis on love and self love, they were just different times and values. Thanks to economic improvement, peace and the raising of awareness, we learn different! It is a gift to embrace and enjoy life to its fullest. Like you do my beautiful friend!!

      Thank You for you infinite support, appreciating and friendship!
      Love and Blessings __(♡ )__

      • Gabriela

        Thanks for your reply , my dear Monique …you have such a talent to eloquently express my very feelings …i agree that awareness is brought on by experience , hence maturity …and it is a work in progress ! Enjoy the weekend and try to heal your wrist ! …much love , hugs and healing light ! <3

  • Anonymous

    Hi..Monique my dearest SiStar, I simply love your blogs and every time you come up with such amazing topics and explain them with so much balance and greater insight. I loved this one too….loving the self and trying to find the true authentic self sets us free from all the boundaries that holds us back, and also removes all the fears that we ourselves create. I liked the 9 nth commandment “I am a work in progress….it’s true this really is applicable as it gives the patience and strength to follow the heart’s desires even at the time of chaos..when we feel that our worth is not felt by others. I love and feel this more and without even my knowing I have truly evolved in the last few years. my deep and sincere love and applause for this wonderful article <3 thank you so much <3

    • Monique

      Dearest SiStar,
      Thank you for your generous words, filled with respect, wisdom and kindness!
      I feel humbled, knowing that my blogs can touch your heart and encourage or strengthen you to become the wonderful, authentic person which you already are! Like you’ve said, you’ve grown enormous since I first met you!! I admire the way you have set yourself in the world, with writing and expressing your feelings and emotions so well!!

      I loved hearing what commandment 9 meant for you. It is indeed very empowering with a peaceful touch. Aren’t we all ‘work in progress’, the reason of our existence. We better enjoy it in our very own and unique way…learning and playing!!
      I’m grateful for your friendship Monalisa!!
      Much Love and Blessing to you _/|\_ ♡

  • Vanessa Atalanta

    Dearest Monique,

    Your blog is amazing and you are an inspiration for me. I can learn a lot of the way your blog is build up and even though I never met you it really reflects your loving and kind nature. Such a beautiful way to serve humanity. Big hug love you and lots of success with the blog. xxx

    • Monique

      Thank you Vanessa for you beautiful comment! I love the idea of being a source of inspiration to others, as I’m being inspired by people like you as well!
      Big Hug and lots of Love and Inspiration to you Happy Spirit!! xxx

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"Throughout my life I've worked through many life processes with the assistance of spiritual teachers, authors and guru's. However, the real change occurred when applying this knowledge into my daily life, directed with the wisdom of my heart and soul".Read More>>


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